I Still Love You
by diaryofanna
Summary: Jackie went to NY after her mom's death because she thought there was nothing for her in Point Place. Three years later, she returns for Eric and Donna's wedding. Can she and Hyde follow their hearts and get back together? Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

PREFACE:

Jackie-

"_Jackie, I have a problem." _

_Ugh, Fez and all his issues. He was always acting so needy. There was always a problem with him. I couldn't help but act irritated with him. Maybe he was my boyfriend, but that didn't mean that he never pissed me off. In fact, he pissed me off every second I was with him. We'd only been together for a few months and I was already sick of him. I really hated men. "Fez, what do you want?"_

"_You are not my Jackie. The Jackie I love is bossy and bitchy. You are nothing. You sit around all day and barely even talk. You are just depressed." he said in that annoying accent of his._

_Of course I was angry. My whole world was falling apart. My dad was still in jail, my mom was off partying in god knows where, I was stuck in a loveless relationship, and of course there was __**him**__. Maybe I had deluded myself into thinking I could be with Fez for a little while, but I knew who my heart still belonged to. _

_"Well Fez, maybe you just don't know me as well as you thought you did. Maybe this is me. I guess you just didn't know what you were getting yourself into with this relationship."_

_"See, that's the problem! The only time you ever really talk with me, you are all angry and you act like you don't want to be there. Well, this is the last time I get myself worked up over you. Jackie, we are through!"_

_"Whatever." Saying that brought tears to my eyes, but he had already stormed out of our apartment and didn't see. It wasn't Fez breaking up with me that had started the tears. It was the word. Whatever. __**He**__ was the one who taught my act so blasé, so Zen, as he called it._

_I was the tiniest bit upset. I didn't love Fez and I didn't want to be with him, but he was just another person who didn't want to be with mean. I mean, I'm Jackie Burkhart. Boys used to punch each other out because they all wanted to be with me. I had sunk so low that even FEZ didn't want me. No one wanted me anymore._

_We were all hanging in the basement together. Well, not all of us. Eric had left yesterday to go back to Africa, but we still hung out in his basement. It was Donna, Fez, Steven, Michael, and me. It was pretty much the last place I wanted to be, no one wanted me there. My presence even irritated Michael and Donna. I was only there because I really wanted to talk to Donna. She, however, was busy with the guys. Fez had told them of our breakup and they seemed rather jolly about it. They just loved seeing their friends get hurt._

"_Donna, can we pleaseeee go back to your house? I want to talk to you," I begged._

"_Yeah, yeah, just wait another couple minutes. I want to see the end of the show." They were watching some stupid game show._

"_Well, Jackie, can't you just go back to Donna's house by yourself? No one needs you here," Fez said nastily. I gave him a dirty look._

_Michael walked over to where I sat on the washing machine. "You know, Jackie, as the man who used to pleasure you endlessly, I would say that you are depressed. You're just not how you used to be. And you know what you need to fix that? Some good old alone time with me. Topless." All Michael thought about was sex._

_Steven had stopped making fun of me constantly and now resorted to acting like I wasn't there. That's why I was surprised when he punched Michael hard in the arm. Maybe it was a sign._

"_What was that for, Hyde?"_

"_Just shut up Kelso. I'm trying to watch."_

_Not a sign. He just wanted him to shut up. Oh, how I missed the days when he would get jealous when Michael made some sexual comment about me and would punch him. But those days were over. I sighed._

_Mrs. Forman ran down the stairs. She looked absolutely horrified. "Jackie, we need you upstairs, NOW."_

_I stood up wordlessly and walked up the stairs. I could feel their eyes burning a hole in my back. "What on earth has gotten into her?" Donna whispered. She thought I couldn't hear. I continued on; I didn't want to hear any more._

_I walked into the Forman kitchen, where Mr. and Mrs. Forman and two policemen stood talking. They looked they looked shocked and sad._

"_What's going on?" I asked emotionlessly. I didn't really care what had happened._

"_Jacqueline Burkhart?" one of them asked._

"_Yeah."_

"_There's been an accident. With your mother." Now I was concerned. I was never close with my mother, but I did want to know if something had happened to her._

"_She's dead. Heroin overdose. I'm so sorry." My mouth dropped open. What the fuck? My mother was dead? A heroin overdose? My mother drank a lot, but she never did drugs. I stood there wordlessly._

"_I'm going to need you to come with me. We need to…make arrangements."_

"_Let me just get my purse." That was when the waterworks began. I ran down the basement, tears running down my face._

_When they all saw me Donna stood up. "Jackie, what the hell is going on?" I looked at her for a moment and crumpled into a heap on the ground. It was too much for me to deal with. As if my life wasn't screwed up enough already._

_I could see them looking at me. Not looking, staring. Especially Steven. He didn't take his eyes off me for a second. I wondered why._

_Mrs. Forman ran down the stairs again. "Jackie, I told them you would go with them tomorrow. You can stay here if you want." I nodded at her but stayed on the floor._

_Fez, Michael, and Donna were looking at Mrs. Forman questioningly. "Mrs. Forman, what is going on?" Donna asked anxiously. Steven kept looking at me. It was uncharacteristic of him to do something like that. Maybe he enjoyed watching me suffer._

"_You know what, you'll hear everything later. I think it would be best if you all went home now."_

"_Um, we could go back to my house if you want," Donna said tentatively. Fez and Michael nodded._

"_I'll just stay here," Steven said._

"_No Steven, you should go," said Mrs. Forman._

"_I live here!"_

"_Oh fine. Just go to your room. They need me upstairs." She ran upstairs as Donna, Fez, and Michael left, not looking back._

_Steven stood up and started walking towards his room, but looked back at me, sitting alone and crying on the floor. He came back and sat down next to me._

"_What's going on Jackie?"_

"_Why do you even care?"_

"_I don't." That one hurt. But he still sat there next to me._

"_You're just as uncaring and awful as you always were." He didn't reply to that. "My mom is dead." His eyes bugged out._

"_What the-?"_

"_Heroin overdose." I couldn't believe I was able to talk about it when I'd only heard the news a few minutes ago, but there was always something about Steven. He made me feel calmer. When he wasn't being a pig, anyway._

_We sat in the silence for a while. He finally broke the silence. "Everything's going to be okay." He rubbed his hand up and down my arm a little. It was comforting, but there still a lot of tension. We'd never talked with each other rationally since the big fall out. For a while we would insult each other. Then the depression began and I stopped talking to him entirely. I leaned my head on his shoulder and we sat there like that until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was in his bed. He wasn't there. He had left me again._

Steven-

_I really hated funerals. I hated the grieving, the mourning. But I hated this funeral more than the few others I had been to. And the reason was that I had to watch Jackie just fall apart in front of everyone._

_I hadn't talked to her in days, since she had the first found out. When I was trying to comfort her and letting her lean on me, all these old feelings for her had come rushing back up. I mean, they already were coming back up little by little, but this was like an explosion. I didn't want to feel that way again. So I carried her off to my room and set her down on my bed. I watched her for a few minutes; I had always loved watching her sleep. Then I ran away like a coward._

_For the last couple days I had been hanging out with Kelso, Donna, Fez, and even Forman, who had flown in from Africa the day before. His excuse was that he needed to come to Pam's funeral, but he really just needed a break from teaching in Africa. I was anxious about the funeral, but I didn't let them know. I hadn't told them about what happened with Jackie and me. They couldn't know._

_After the service we were all sitting around and talking. Eric had his arm around Donna. It was making me sick. I missed having someone to do that to._

"_Gosh, I'm really worried about Jackie. She's such a mess. I mean, before she was too, but this is just awful. I've never seen her like this," Donna said._

"_Wait, what do you mean 'before she was too'? She was fine at New Years," asked Eric._

"_Yeah, well afterwards, she got all mopey and sad and stopped hanging out with us so much. I think it had something to do with her lack of Kelso time. And the fact that she was sleeping with FEZ!" Kelso giggled._

_My hand crushed the wine glass it was holding and it shattered into a thousand pieces. Even if they had broken up, they thought of her sleeping with Fez made me downright sick. Everyone stood up. _

"_You okay there, Hyde?" Eric asked. He and Donna were looking at me concernedly. Oh, they knew. The two of them knew me inside and out and they knew why I crushed that glass. They knew I was still head over heels in love with Jackie Burkhart. _

"_It was an accident," I mumbled incoherently._

"_I'll go get a broom and sweep that up. You guys go away," Donna offered._

_We started to walk away. I noticed how Eric made a point of standing between me and Fez. He knew that it was taking every single ounce of strength I had not to pound him on the spot._

"_Kelso, I do not know what you are talking about. Jackie and I were not "sleeping together". We did it like, twice, and it was awful both times. She was miserable and she was not even that good at it. Besides, she is such a tramp. She's been passed around the town almost as many times as Eric's skank of a sister," Fez stated._

_That was it. I looked him in the eye before I punched him in the face and knocked him to the ground. Eric grabbed me and held me back. I was surprised he was even able to do that. Maybe he'd gotten tougher out in Africa. "Woah, Hyde. Why don't you go find…someone to talk to. Or go find some food or something."_

"_What the hell, Hyde?" Fez hollered. I glanced at him and walked away. People were staring at me funny. Among them was Jackie, who turned and went into the bathroom, tears running down her face. Those had nothing to do with me, though. They were for her dead mother. I remembered when we all had crushes on Pam. Of course we did, she was almost as beautiful as her daughter. But no one could be that striking. Jackie looked like a goddess compared to all the other girls I knew._

_I managed to keep myself occupied for a little while with food and talking to Mr. and Mrs. Forman, who had seen the Fez incident and wanted to know what was going on. They were furious but I didn't care. Little twerp was asking for it._

_It had been about half an hour. Jackie still wasn't out of the bathroom and I was worried. Was she so depressed about her mother that she was hiding away?_

_Eric, Fez, and the rest of them had left the room. No one else was paying attention so I opened the door and went into the girls' bathroom._

_I was shocked when I saw what was in there._

_Jackie was sitting under the sink surrounded by empty bottles of liquor. She looked drunk out of her mind._

"_Jackie?" I asked carefully. She didn't even turn her head to look at me._

"_What do you want, Steven?" I didn't answer; I didn't even know what I wanted.  
It hurt to see her in this state; so sad and vulnerable. "Look, Jackie. Why are you even doing this? It never seemed like you and your mother had the closest relationship." As soon as it came out, I realized how stupid a question it was. She was already locked into a depression before her mom died. _

"_This isn't just about my mother. She's just another part of my life that's completely fucked up." I didn't really understand that. Her life wasn't really that screwy. Aside from her mom, nothing was really wrong. It couldn't have been Fez dumping her, she was acting like that months before that had happened. A little part of me wished that it was about me and that she missed me, but I knew that wasn't the case. I took her hand and held it there for a while. That was the most I could do. I really wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't for three reasons. One, I didn't want to do that to her when she was drunk. Two, she would probably push me away; she didn't love me anymore. Three, even if she didn't push me away, I knew that I was never good enough for her. I didn't deserve her._

_She stood up suddenly and ran towards the toilet. She started vomiting violently into it. I stood up beside her and held her hair back. She didn't like it when her hair got messed up._

_I'd wanted to comfort her all throughout her depression, but I was scared. I didn't want anyone to know how I felt. But I couldn't stop myself if her mom was dead._

_When she'd finished, I said "Jackie, let's get you home."_

_I helped her walk to my car, strapped her in, and started driving towards the apartment she shared with Fez and Kelso, who was temporarily staying there._

"_No, I don't want to go there," she told me before she fell asleep. I had no choice but to take her back to the Formans'. _

_I carried her to my bed, like I had when she first heard the news. She woke up for a moment and looked at me with confusion. "What's going on?" she asked drowsily._

"_Just sleep."_

"_No, you need to sleep too. It's late. I'll go sleep on the couch."_

_I rolled my eyes. "It's fine. Stay there."_

"_You can sleep here too. Like we used to."_

_Fine by me. Besides, she wouldn't remember anything in the morning. I could leave before she woke up. I laid down beside her and put my arms around her as she drifted back into sleep. Just like we used to do when she stayed here with me right after her dad was arrested. I missed those days so much. Everything was so easy back then._

_I couldn't sleep, with her sleeping in my arms. I felt the electricity between us._

_Some time in the night, Eric and Donna snuck into my room to see what I was doing. I didn't want to talk to them, so I pretended to be asleep._

"_Aw, look at Jackie and her little Puddin' Pop," Eric said quietly. I really missed hearing her call me that. It was a really lame name, but it was cute coming from her._

"_Do you think they're back together?" Donna asked._

"_Looks like it." I wish._

"_I hope so. They were really good for each other, after getting over the initial shock of the two of them together. And after they broke up, they were just different."_

"_Yeah. You know, Hyde always acted like a tough guy, but I've always known he was really a softie. I mean, look at him." Donna giggled._

"_Well, we should leave before they wake up and Hyde beats us up. Like Fez." Eric suggested. After they left, I really did fall asleep. Something about her made me calm._

_When I woke up she was gone. Shit. There was a note pinned to my pillow._

_Dear Steven,_

_I'm sorry to just leave you with a note. I just really didn't want to have to talk to anyone. Look, I'm going to New York. I arranged it a couple of days ago and I never told you. There's nothing here for me in Point Place anymore. I would have stayed if things were different between us, Steven, but they're not. I know you don't feel the way you used to about me, and it's alright. But thank you for helping me through this. You were really great last night, and the other day. I wouldn't have believed it, since we haven't exactly been on the best terms with each other since…well you know. Say goodbye to everyone for me: Michael, Fez, Eric and especially Mr. Forman, Mrs. Forman, and Donna, who have been wonderful. Thank you for everything. For helping me out and for all the time I spent with you. It was really special._

_Love Always,_

_Jackie_

_I sighed. She'd left me again with just a note. I couldn't lose her again, she was my life. And I hadn't told her how I felt! Sure, I probably wasn't going to anyway, but now that she was gone I would never be able to. And she had said that she still loved me. If she'd known how I felt, we could have gotten back together, like I had been dreaming of doing since I'd left her for the stripper. I couldn't even remember her name; that was how unimportant she was to me. That was the biggest mistake I had ever made._

_I picked up my radio and threw it across the room. It fell to the floor and fell apart. It felt good to release my anger onto something; even if it was my radio._

_I took the note she gave me and tucked it in the drawer where I kept my shirts. It was right next to other note she'd given me. The note that said had taken the job in Chicago and was moving there. I had kept it for all that time._

_I sat down on the bed and put my face in my hands. Now what?_


	2. Author's Note

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Yay! First chapter. Actually a prologue but whatever.

I came up with this because I am completely in love with Hyde/Jackie and I was pissed beyond imagination when they didn't end up together. Because they were so incredibly perfect for each other. Anyway, I felt the need to make them get back together so I could delude myself into thinking they actually did.

And I forgot to put a disclaimer in chapter one! Sorry 'bout that. For the record, I own absolutely nothing. If I did, I would have made sure that my two favorite characters would have ended up together!

One more thing to mention: I am incredibly lazy when it comes to proofreading. So you'll find typos and stuff. Sorry 'bout that.

I would love to get some constructive criticism from people, just remember that I'm only thirteen years old, it's nothing going to be perfect. I don't consider myself to be a very good writer, I just wanted my story told.

Anyway, I hope you like it and please review! It would mean the world to me.

Thanks!

diaryofanna


	3. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, unfortunately. Fox owns all.**

Jackie-

I was sitting at the table with a razor blade in my hand at the kitchen table, thinking of how much I hated life when the phone rang. Stupid phone. I didn't even know why I had one; I barely used it. No one ever called me. No one wanted to talk to me.

I picked the damn phone up and spoke into it. "Hello?" I muttered.

"Jackie?" asked the voice on the other line. Oh, I knew that voice. Donna.

"Hi Donna."

"Hi. Wow. You sound terrible." I didn't want Donna to worry about me. She already had enough to worry about with the upcoming wedding.

"Yeah, I'm only tired. I just woke up."

So much for my not worrying her plan. "Jackie, it's three." She sounded so concerned. It comforted me a little to know that one person in the world cared about me.

"Well, Donna, we're in different time zones."

"Oh, I get it now. It makes sense. It's four in New York." Stupid Donna ruined my plan.

"I suppose."

"Jackie, it's not normal to be sleeping this late. I know what's wrong with you. I've been so worried; I almost got on a plane to New York. I thought you said you were getting better." That was a lie. If anything, I was getting worse.

"Donna, you're such a worrywart. I'm fine. Really, don't stress over this. You have your wedding coming up! You need to relax." Even to myself I sounded entirely false.

Donna wasn't falling for it. "Okay. Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I need a friend here with me. I know you said you weren't able to come up for the wedding, but I really need you. It's in a week. My dress was totaled by my dad who got melted fudge all over it. Eric's acting like a jerk. And I need my maid of honor! I saved the spot for you because I thought you would cave and come. I even bought your dress already. I need you."

I felt bad for Donna, but not horrible. She thought she had issues.

"Donna, I can't. Work has been so busy lately…" That was a lie. I didn't even have a job. I quit after about a month. I couldn't stand it. I just wanted to be alone. "And I haven't seen any of you guys in three years. I don't know what I would say to anyone. She knew that was code for 'I don't know what I would say to Steven'.

"Please, Jackie. You're my best friend. I really need you."

I weighed everything out in my head and made a mental list. Reasons why I should go: Donna, my best friend who was the only person to stay in touch with me and who I haven't seen in years needs me. Reasons why I shouldn't go: it would be downright humiliating in every way. For starters, I didn't want to have to explain to anyone what I'd been doing in New York, because I wasn't doing anything. I sat around and moped all day and night. I didn't want anyone to see what I looked like because it was disgusting. I used to be a beautiful and bouncy cheerleader. Heads would turn when I went by. No one looked at me that way anymore. I looked sick and tired. I'd lost way too much weight, my skin had turned pale and transparent, my eyes didn't twinkle any more. I looked dead. And if anyone saw my arms…I didn't even want to go into that. There was more to them then just being unhealthily thin. I hated people feeling bad for me, and in Point Place I would get a lot of that because my dad was still in jail and my mom was dead. Most of all, I didn't know how to act around Steven after everything we'd been through. Before I left, he hadn't spoken to me in months, and when I finally did start talking and treating me nicely, it was because he felt bad for me. That one night when I'd been too drunk for words he cared for me so nicely. We even slept in the same bed with his arms around me and for a little bit I thought that maybe there was a chance for us. But it came down on me that the only thing he felt for me was pity.

"Come on Donna. Don't try and guilt me into this." She was wordless on the other end of the line. "Oh, fine. I'll do it. But know that I'm doing this just for you. And I don't want to speak to or even see anyone else. Right after you and Eric are good and married, I'm coming straight home."

"Oh my god. Are you serious?!" she exclaimed.

"I guess."

"Holy shit. I can't wait to tell everyone!!!"

"No Donna. Don't tell anyone, please. I don't want there to be a big fuss."

"Oh fine. When will you fly out her?" She seemed so excited. At least she would be happy, even if I wanted to die during the whole time I was there. Actually that didn't matter. I wanted to die no matter where I was. I just hadn't brought myself to do it yet, though the day was fast approaching. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Tomorrow, I guess."

"Yay! I can't wait to see you! Call and tell me what time you'll get it so I can pick you up. Can't wait to see you!" She hung up the phone. Oh, what was I getting myself into?

Donna was there to great me as I got off the plane. She looked horrified at the sight of me.

"Jackie? Is that you?" she asked. I knew she would react that way. After all, I didn't look the same anymore.

"Yeah."

"Oh my god. I would hug you but I'm afraid I'll crush you. Have you been eating at all?" She was freaking out.

"Of course I have."

"And what are you wearing?"

"Jeans. T-shirt. Sneakers."

"What happened to your nice old clothes?"

"Er. They got lost on the plane when I was first going to New York." That was another lie. My entire life was a lie. I'd burned all those clothes. They brought back too many memories. She didn't believe me. She never did.

"Jackie. You're not okay."

"I am too."

"Of course you're not! You're not even shouting to defend yourself! This isn't the Jackie I know. She disappeared right after…well. You know."

"Don't bring that up, Donna. And stop acting like a parent. I'm fine. I'm really glad to see you."

"Uh. I am too." She was the liar that time. She looked repulsed by me. She didn't want to see what I had become.

I sat down in the front seat of her car.

"Well, don't be mad. I told Eric," she told me quietly.

"Donna!"

"Just Eric. I was just so excited about seeing you. He promised he wouldn't tell anyone." We sat in silence for the rest of the ride.

It didn't take long to get back to her house. When we did she said "I promised Eric I would take you in to see him. He said he would make sure no one was there."

I actually did want to see Eric. I hadn't seen him in so long and I really did miss him.

"What about his parents?" I asked. I wasn't up to having a really long chat with them right now. And Mrs. Forman was a nurse. She would see me and immediately hand me some anorexia pamphlets.

"We'll go in through the basement." I nodded.

We walked down the stairs and into the basement where I saw Eric sitting on the couch holding the Millennium Falcon. Oh, he would never change. He saw us coming in and stood up. "Jackie!" he exclaimed with a smile on his face. That was surprising. He'd never really seemed to like me that much.

I tried forcing a smile for their benefit and held my arms out too.

"Don't Eric. You'll crush her," Donna muttered. He looked at her in confusion and then took a good look at me and winced. Wow, I must have looked really different. He lowered his arms.

"Well, how are you doing? How's New York life?" he asked. He was just trying to be nice.

"It's fine. Boring. How's Point Place? Excited about getting married?"

He opened his mouth to answer but we were interrupted by the sound of an opening door. The door to Steven's bedroom.

Oh shit. I looked away, but couldn't resist looking back.

He hadn't seen me. He was showing some girl I didn't recognize out the basement door. Both of them looked disoriented and exhausted. Like they had just…oh god. I did not want to think about that. It was disgusting and horribly embarrassing at the same time.

I didn't even see her face and I already wanted to punch her lights out.

"Hyde, you moron," Eric said disappointedly. "Real smooth." Steven turned around and when he saw me his mouth dropped open. I did not want to deal with him. When I'd agreed to come to Point Place for the stupid wedding, I told Donna that I didn't want to have to talk to anyone. Especially Steven. And now I was paying the price for Donna's stupidity. Couldn't she have planned it so I didn't have to see him? I was so angry at Donna, but I knew she was getting married in a few days and had to be distracted. So I was really pissed, but not extremely pissed.

Steven's eyes widened at the sight of me. He looked freaked out. Disgusted, almost. Maybe I wasn't looking as sharp as I used to, but come on. He didn't exactly look his best either. He'd grown out the beard and mustache again and his skin looked pale and sallow. Like mine.

"Jackie," he whispered. Why was he reacting like that? He was over me long ago and even if he hadn't been that night, he was certainly over me enough now to be sleeping with some new girl.

I didn't want to talk to him. I was overcome with jealousy, anger, and sadness at the same time. I merely nodded him and said his name as I did so. Then I looked away. I didn't want to see his face.

Steven-

We were both so drunk. I didn't even remember how it happened. We were at the club in Kenosha; drinking and dancing and somehow we wound up back in Forman's basement and into my room. Some parts I remembered vividly. Others I didn't remember at all. Such as the actual sex part. I could recall both of us ripping off the other's clothing, but when we actually started getting it on, I couldn't remember a thing. Which really defeated the purpose of me sleeping with her in the first place. I didn't do it for the pleasure. I didn't do it because I loved her; Christ, I didn't even know her name. I did it because I wanted to stop seeing **her** face in my head whenever I thought about sex. One might ask: if you don't want to think about this girl and you do it with other random chicks to get rid of the memory, why do you get so drunk that you can't even remember it? Well, it may sound stupid, but the only way to tolerate sleeping with these girls was to get very drunk. **She** had made me spoiled. Everything about her was perfect: her face, her body, her personality. Nothing about these other girls perfect. In fact, they were hideous in comparison.

It's stupid because the two things I want are conflicting. I want to stop thinking about **her**, so I do it with other girls. But I get so drunk because I can't stand thinking about the other girls I sleep with me. So maybe a part of me actually did want to remember her. I wasn't sure. It was an ongoing cycle.

I was thinking about this because I had woken up before she did and had some time to think until I conked out again. I reawakened to the sound of Forman and Donna talking about wedding numero dos. I had to wake whatever the hell her name was and get her out before Kitty and Red saw. I didn't even want to think about what "foot in ass" threat Red would cook up for me if he found some random whore in his house.

She was still sleeping and snuggling up against me. It was mildly repulsive. I shook her awake and she stared up at me with an expression of confusion. "What the fuck?" she asked.

"Yeah, that. You need to get out. Now."

"But where the hell am I?"

"My basement. Point Place. Wisconsin.

She looked groggy and overall disgusting. "You need to take me home," she demanded.

"Sorry, no can do. I'm busy. But if you go to the road and walk to the left for a little while, you'll find a gas station with a pay phone. Call a friend. Or a cab."

She glared at me. "Ugh, whatever."

I watched her as she scrambled to get on her clothes from last night. I took a small glimpse at her face. From what I saw, she wasn't even the least bit attractive. No one was anymore. I quickly threw on some underwear, jeans, and a t-shirt.

I was so used to this by now. It happened pretty much every weekend; each time with a new slut. I really had no life.

She kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks for a great night. I left my number on your bed. Call me." I nodded, but I had no intentions of ever calling her back. She sickened me. I mean, how desperate did you have to be to sleep with me? I was pathetic. And she was pathetic for getting drunk and having sex with someone as pathetic as me.

I opened the door and we both entered the basement. She ran outside without looking back once. Good riddance.

"Hyde, you moron," Eric said behind me. I turned to look at him and my jaw fell open when I saw who was standing behind him. Holy shit. Could it be…?

It was. It was **Jackie**. But it sure as hell did not look like her. It wasn't the beautiful Jackie I knew and loved. She looked awful. She was dressed in ratty jeans, a baggy old t-shirt, and dirty sneakers. She was dressed like me, but I didn't like seeing that on her. It was so unlike her. They were the exact opposite of the girl little skirts and dresses that she wore and looked so hot in. Her olive toned skin had gotten much paler. Her hair was grown out and looked sloppy. She'd always been tiny, like a little doll as I used to call her. But now she was frighteningly thin. It looked like if I reached out to touch her arm it would shatter into a million tiny pieces. I had always handled her tenderly because she was so delicate and small. Now she was that multiplied by ten. Was she eating at all? The thought of her starving herself made me queasy. There was a difference in her eyes too. I used to not be able to stop staring into them because they shined like sunlight. They now looked like they had no life in them. She was a corpse, a zombie.

"Jackie," I whispered.

She nodded back at me to acknowledge me. "Steven." She looked disappointed and angry. She had seen the whore sneaking out of my room and knew what was going on in there before she arrived. Maybe it bothered her. After all, in that note she'd left me so long ago, she did hint that she may have still had feelings for me. But it was so long ago, I doubted it. Why had she picked today of all days for a visit? She could have arrived any other day of the week and she wouldn't have seen anything. But she came today and I had to accept that.

Maybe it was for the best. I wasn't good enough for her when we were dating and I definitely wasn't good enough for her now.

Eric broke the ice by saying "So, let's go see my parents." He said it nervously; he could see the tension between us. Stupid Forman. How was he able to see right through me? He had always been able to, despite my best efforts to seem tough and calm.

The three of them walked upstairs into the house, leaving me alone. That was good; I needed some time to think.

"Oh my god. Jackie?" Mrs. Forman exclaimed. She ran over and gave me a quick hug. Oh, Mrs. Forman. She'd always been so nice to me. She was one of the few people I missed while I was in New York.

"Hey Mrs. Forman. How are you?" I tried to smile and be polite. Act normal.

"How am I? How are you? I want to hear all about New York." Everything she said sounded fake and forced. She was looking me over, just as Donna, Eric, and Steven had. Maybe I had lost a few pounds, but it didn't mean everyone had to stare like that. I was already self-conscious enough.

"I'll tell you about it later. I'm tired from the flight." She had the concerned parent look on.

"Well, how long are you here for? And where are you staying?"

"Just for the wedding. Then I'm going back to New York. And I guess I'm staying with Donna…?" I asked it as a question. She'd never actually confirmed that I would be allowed to stay with her.

"Well," Donna said sheepishly. "About that…when I invited you for the wedding I kind of forgot that you would need to stay somewhere. It's way too hectic and crowded in my house. You kind of have to stay in a motel…" Was she kidding?

Now I was really angry. She was really trying to torture me with this. "Donna! You drag me out her practically against my will and you're not even giving me a place to stay! Ugh! Now I have to stay in some crappy motel."

"No!" Kitty screeched. "I will not hear of it! You can stay in Laurie's room, sweetie. And when she comes up to be a bridesmaid, she can stay in Eric's room." Wow, she must have felt really strongly about it if she was going to send Laurie to stay with Eric. Poor Eric looked horrified.

"But Mom! It's my wedding! You're making me share my room with the devil?" he shouted.

"Mrs. Forman, I can't-" I protested.

"I insist. Go get your bags and bring them to Laurie's room." Then she took another look at me and changed her mind. "Actually, Eric. Go get Jackie's bags."

"Oh fine. But I will get you back for this, Mom." Eric glared at her.

"Oh, honey. If they're too heavy for you you can ask Steven to help you."

Everyone got an anxious look on their faces when Mrs. Forman mentioned Steven. Everyone knew we had a past. Eric ran back in the basement.

"Well, now that that's settled we can have brunch. Sit down and I'll serve you," Mrs. Forman commanded. Food was pointless for me. Everything that I ate just came right back up.

"You know what? I'm not really hungry. I ate on the plane," I lied. Kitty and Donna sort of looked at each other knowingly.

"Honey, it's just that you're so thin. Have you been eating all right?" Ugh. They knew.

"Of course I have been. You know me. I eat like a pig." They weren't buying it.

The subject was dropped awkwardly and we continued chatting about other things until they were finished eating. In a way, it felt good to be back. These people were my family. Some of them, anyway.

Donna stood up. "Jackie, I need you to come over and do wedding stuff with me. You need to try on your dress. I'm not sure if it'll fit you..."she trailed on. "And then we need to go out find me a new dress _quickly_. I can't believe my stupid dad. It'll be a miracle if I can find something I like in my size." She paused. She was obviously waiting for me to make some snarky comment about her size the way I used to. But I didn't have the energy for that.

"Oh fine," I told her as I shot her a dirty look. We stood up, thanked Kitty for breakfast and left. Oh, Donna was in for it.

**Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will hopefully be out today or tomorrow.**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Anna :3**


	4. Chapter 3

**I OWN ****NOTHING****. And I really hate having to put that at the top of each chapter.**

Steven-

"Hey Forman," I said to Eric as he ran down the stairs like a little girl.

"Wow, Hyde. You really picked the perfect night to bring your new whore to my house," Eric said sarcastically.

"Well, Forman. How was I supposed to know she was coming? You never told me," I retorted. "Which reminds me, I should be pissed at you. You obviously knew."

Eric rolled his eyes. "Donna said I had to keep it a secret." What a pansy.

"Whatever. Besides, why do think I care what la princesa thinks of me? I don't." Even to myself I sounded fake.

"If you don't care why are you pissed at me?" He'd caught me.

"I didn't say I was pissed. I said I _should _be pissed. There's a difference." I wasn't about to admit that I cared what she thought. It would lead to another string of things and then everyone would know everything about me. Which would suck majorly.

He looked at me with his girly little wide-eyed look. "Hyde, I know you care."

Just deny everything. "No I don't. So shut your mouth, Esmerelda." He rolled his eyes at me. He hated that name. He hated the lies too, but I was pretty sure he hated the name more.

"Whatever. But gosh, what happened to her? She looks awful."

I nodded in agreement. I hated to do it, because I know how upset she would be if she saw me agreeing that she looked awful. But I had to talk with someone about it, and Forman was the only available person. "Tell me about it. Half her weight has gone MIA."

"What do you think it is. Anorexia?" he pondered. That was exactly what I thought. The name sent shivers down my spine.

"I dunno. Probably," I said. I was unable to express more concern in order to keep Eric from being more suspicious than he already was. I changed the subject slightly. "Did you check out the new wardrobe?"

"Yeah. It's the kind of stuff she made fun of Donna for wearing. But it's not just her appearance. She's acting different too. Notice how she isn't being overly talkative and annoying? She's just emotionless. It's like she's dead."

"Well, that's not exactly new. That happened right when we hit the eighties. It looks like it's gotten worse, though." He looked confused.

"You know, everyone's been saying that but I don't really know what they're talking about, since I was in Africa. When I visited for New Year's she seemed happy with Fez and then when I came back for the funeral she was changed. What happened during that period?"

"I dunno. One minute she was cheerful and annoying as usual with Fez and then I guess everything sort of came crashing down on her. She like, had an epiphany or something. And then Fez dumped her right before her mom died."

"Huh. So it got worse when her mom died, I guess."

"Yup."

"Okay, well. I'm supposed to be getting her stuff from Donna's car and bringing it upstairs. Apparently she's staying here. Laurie's room."

"What?!"

"Yeah, and Laurie's going to be staying with me. That should be jolly. Maybe I'll just send her off to Kelso's, they'd both probably like to see each other again."

"But Jackie's staying here?"

"Yeah. And I thought you don't care about la princesa."

"I don't."

Well. That was sure to be a nightmare. I wouldn't be able to sleep if I knew Jackie was sleeping just a floor above me. It would give me needs, as Fez might say. He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm telling you, I don't care about her at all. She's done. How long is she here for?"

"SEE! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You say you don't care and then you go on asking another question."

"Just answer the question."

"Just for a week. She's going back after the wedding."

It was a curse. We were going to be staying in the same house. And after three years, she's going back after a week. I wouldn't even have time to say anything to her. Let alone explain the whore in my room. I didn't want her pissed at me.

Eric walked out the door to get Jackie's luggage from Donna's car. "Hyde! A little help here!"

He was struggling to stay up while holding two suitcases. They weren't exactly very large and three of them shouldn't have given him any trouble. He was too damn skinny.

"Remember when we were moving her into Donna's house? And we had to carry the millions of suitcases she packed?" Eric asked.

"Yeah, I remember." I mainly remembered that day from all the making out we did on Donna's bed while she wasn't there. But I remembered all her luggage too. What happened to that girl? The one who packed her whole room to go stay with Donna? The one who talked endlessly? The one who turned guys' heads wherever she walked? The one who was happy?

Jackie-

I waited until we were safe in Donna's room with the door closed to pounce on her. "Donna, what were you thinking?" I exploded at her.

"I'm sorry. Really." She didn't look sorry. She looked happy. And mischievous. Like she was planning something and it was working. "I just wanted you here so badly that I forgot that you had to stay somewhere. And I have half of the family staying here in the next couple days. For the wedding." At least she looked the teensiest bit sincere during that part.

"It's just that. Well, you said I wouldn't have to hang out with everyone again. I didn't really want to see anyone besides you and maybe Eric. I mean, it would be unavoidable at the wedding, but I would've been able to ignore them up until them. And at the wedding I could just say hey and then leave the next morning. It would've been perfect! And now I have to stay at the Formans. And you know that everyone is going to be in and out of there all week. Kelso, Fez, Mr. Forman. Steven too."

She looked sympathetic. Finally. "Look, I know it might be a bit awkward seeing everyone now, but it'll be good for you. I mean, from what I've heard from you, you haven't really been hanging out with anybody in years. Maybe it'll cheer you up."

"I doubt it. It will just make everything worse."

"Look, Jackie. Are you just nervous about staying in the same house as Hyde?" Why did she have to be so smart? Why did she have to know me so well?

But I wasn't about to confess anything. Not yet, anyway. "Of course not. Why would you even think that? Steven and I are long done. What we had was so long ago. Why would you think of Steven and not Fez? Fez was my last boyfriend here, you know."

She eyed me carefully. "Jackie, I know there's no problem with Fez. There's no tension there, no unresolved feelings. I can tell from having been hanging out with Fez for all these years while you were gone. But I can see the tension with Hyde! Like this morning? That was just plain…tension filled. You can tell. You and Hyde have some unresolved feelings towards each other. Don't even try and deny it."

"I will deny it all I want to. I'm telling you Steven and I are over. Beyond over. Done, done, and done."

"It didn't look over last time you were here, Jackie," she said dubiously.

I gasped. "What are you talking about?"

She pointedly looked away from me. "You know. At your mom's funeral. Didn't you see him punch Fez out? What'd you think that was about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Donna."

"Yes you do. I forget exactly how it happened, but someone brought up how you were sleeping with Fez-"

"DONNA! Don't bring that up. Please. Ever." I interrupted. Oh god, I didn't want to think about that. Those were some of my worst memories of Point Place.

"Oh, fine. We can talk about that later. But when that was brought up Hyde sort of lost it. He broke his wine glass. And then Fez said something about you. So Hyde punched him. Oh, and we were spying on him after that. We saw him sneak into the girls bathroom after that." Oh god. More bad memories brewing.

"I can't believe you saw that."

"Yeah, well we did. Just Eric and me, anyway. What was going on in there?"

"Donna. I don't want to talk about it. Ever. But, I'll tell you this much. He just felt bad for me. Nothing really went on. We were just being friends."

She seemed to accept that. "Fine, I won't bring that part up again. But it just didn't seem like it was over. And the whole time you were gone, Hyde hasn't been with anyone."

I smirked at that. "Funny joke, Donna. Remember what happened not even an hour ago? Yeah. I saw that girl sneaking out of his room. Don't think I don't know what was happening in there. Besides, I don't care. I don't have any feelings for him and I don't care who he sleeps with."

Donna sighed. "Jackie, that happens pretty much every week. Each time with a new girl. He never calls them back."

I repeated to her that I didn't care. But I did, of course. That could be taken as a good thing or a bad thing. That meant he didn't care about them. But it also meant he was a man whore. Sort of.

"But none of this matters. Just don't make me stay there. Please."

She finally caved a little. "Okay, Jackie. Just try it for one night. If it's absolutely unbearable, we'll work something out."

"Thanks."

We sat there in the silence for a little bit. It felt like she was examining me again.

She spoke after a little while. "Okay, we have a lot to do. First, let's try on your dress."

She ran over to her closet and pulled out this really gorgeous little dress. It was lilac covered, with lace capped sleeves and down to the floor. It was tiny, but I knew it wouldn't fit me. And it was sleeveless. I didn't want to show my arms. It would freak Donna out.

"Donna, it's so pretty."

"Yeah. My mom and I picked them out. Nice, huh? You're the only one wearing this one. Laurie and Brooke are wearing them in a light blue."

I smirked. "Laurie?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Yeah, Mrs. Forman asked me to make her a bridesmaid. I had to."

"Ah, well," I replied.

I had an idea. "You know, what would look really nice with these dresses? Gloves. Long, white gloves." I didn't really believe that. It was just to remain inconspicuous.

At least Donna was oblivious to this. "Yeah, it might look nice. Maybe we'll pick some up at the mall when we go to find me a new dress." She looked so nervous.

"I can't believe your dad wrecked your dress. Gosh, why does it always happen to you? Remember what happened last time? Eric completely totaled it."

She laughed at that memory. "Yeah. Those were the days. Just try on your dress."

I ran down to her bathroom to try on the dress. It looked terrible on me. Way too small, it was about to fall off. I ran back to Donna's room for her to see. I made a point of hiding my wrists entirely.

She looked stunned. "Jackie! It doesn't fit you AT ALL. Oh my god. This is a disaster. Now we have to get you a new dress too."

I tried to look apologetic. "I'm sorry. I told you my presence wouldn't make anything easier."

"Just answer, Jackie. Why have you lost so much weight?"

"I dunno. I'm just never really that hungry anymore. I eat, just not as much as I used to." There, it wasn't a direct lie. I was just stretching it until its breaking point.

"Are you sure it's not an…you know. Eating disorder?"

"Yeah, stop worrying."

She stopped talking about it, but I knew the conversation wasn't over completely.

"Okay. Let's go to the mall," she said.

We walked outside and got into her car. "I meant to ask. When did you get a car?"

"My dad bought it for me. Twentieth birthday present."

Aside from all the questions and concerns, I did enjoy hanging out with Donna. I had really missed her. When I was in New York I'd felt so lost, but with Donna I felt a little less that way. Being back in Point Place felt right, as much as I hated to admit it. It was seeing everyone else that made me uneasy. I hadn't seen Michael or Fez yet, but I was sure it would be miserable. And seeing more of Steven would be awful. We were bound to run into each other a lot if we were going to be staying in the same house. Talking to him seemed unavoidable.

"Okay. We're here," Donna said as the car pulled up to the mall. That mall had so many memories. I could see the stores I used to shop at, the cheese place I worked at. Maybe it would be fun.

**Hey, new chapter! Sorry it's short. Next will be longer, promise.**

**Wow, I have four subscribers! Haha, I know it's an incredibly small amount, but it's a start.**

**Next chapter will most likely be up tomorrow.**

**Please review, just a tiny comment. It would mean so much to me. **

**Thanks, Anna. :3**


	5. Chapter 4

**I own nothing. However, I really wish I did.**

_Hyde__-_

I'd managed to avoid everyone until lunch. After my conversation with Forman I wanted nothing more than to park my butt in my room and think. There were many things I had to think over; the most important being: how the hell am I going to survive this for a week?

But now I was stuck sitting at the table eating lunch with Eric and his parents. Jackie's return hadn't been brought up yet and it looked like I had avoided the topic until dinner at least. Everyone had been a bit frazzled for a moment, but now they were all engaged in wedding plans. Mrs. Forman was going on about her baby boy was going to be married and moving away, Mr. Forman was calling Eric a dumbass, Eric was listening to the two of them and occasionally saying something, and I sat in complete silence.

"Steven, honey, you seem awfully quiet. Is something the matter?" Kitty asked concernedly.

"Gee, Mom. Maybe it wasn't made obvious enough. HYDE'S LOVER HAS RETURNED TO POINT PLACE AND IS CURRENTLY SUICIDAL. Such a thing may cause quietness."

I was this close to punching him out. "One, she's not my lover. And two, she's not suicidal. So shut the hell up."

Red threw his newspaper down and gave me a nasty look. "Do _not_ tell me that the stripper is back, Steven."

"Red, calm down. It's not Samantha, it's Jackie," Kitty told him. The sound her name made me feel even worse, if possible.

"Jackie? I always liked her. Only one of your damn friends who knew how to hold a flashlight, Eric. What's wrong with her?"

"Suicidal," Eric coughed. If he kept saying that… It wasn't true. At least I was trying to tell myself that.

"Eric, try to be sensitive. If there's something wrong with her we need to support her and help her through it. This will be affecting everyone. Steven, for example," Kitty scolded Eric. I looked up.

"Hyde, just admit it. You still have feelings for her, we can all tell."

I didn't care how long he pressured me into admitting this because there was no way I was going to. It would be embarrassing and stupid and pointless. "I'm telling you, I don't."

"Eric, Steven doesn't have to admit anything. Everyone can tell, no need for him to say anything," Kitty giggled.

I was about to say something to that but Red interrupted me. "Well, what's wrong with her?" he asked.

Kitty looked at him wearily. "I'm sure she's just acting up because of her mother's death. I mean, something like that can be very traumatizing."

"Mom, she never really seemed to have the best relationship with her mom anyway. I think it's something else," Eric said as he stared me down.

"Well, no one knows and no one is going to ask her, not yet anyway. We should all make sure to be supportive of her and try to help her as much as possible. We should each individually do something to try and get her through this. I, for example, am going to sneak some eating disorder pamphlets in Laurie's room."

"Well," I started. "First of all, she will blow up at you if you do that. Second of all, no one actually knows if she has an eating problem." I knew that Kitty doing that wouldn't help at all, on the contrary it would just piss Jackie off in a major way and possibly make whatever problem she had even worse. If we were going to do something about it we had to do it in a very subtle way.

"Steven. I am a nurse. I can see the signs. That girl is suffering from depression and eating disorder," Mrs. Forman replied.

"Well, it's a shame to see someone like her go through that," said Red. "How long is she going to be here anyway?"

"She's just staying for the wedding. Oh, and she will be staying here. In Laurie's room. And Laurie's going to be staying with ME! Isn't that just jolly?" Eric whined.

"Quit whining, Eric," Kitty said. "Odds are she'll find someone else to stay with anyway. One of her 'friends', perhaps."

"Well. I thought with Eric getting married I would finally have all these kids out of the house. I guess I was wrong. Steven, you need to think about moving out sometime. Maybe with you and Eric both gone, all these mangy kids will finally go away," Red complained.

"Yeah. I'll start thinking about it." Kitty's face fell to a frown when I said that. She wouldn't be able to deal with having both of us gone and no one else around.

They all talked about the wedding for the rest of the meal. I just sort of sat there and listened. I was too distracted by Jackie to engage in conversation with anyone.

Eric left first, claiming he had to go do wedding stuff. Kitty and Red went also but I wasn't paying attention to where. I just went back into the basement and turned it to some mindless sitcom that I wasn't really watching. Jackie sure was messing me up.

_Jackie_-

"Okay. Now that we have your dress issue resolved we have to fix mine. Gosh, I can't believe my dad! Why did he feel the need to eat melting fudge right next to my wedding dress and not tell me for a week so I couldn't get the stain out?" Donna said anxiously. She really was getting worked up over this whole wedding thing.

We had bought a new dress for me. I was the same as the old one, just pink instead of purple. They didn't have a purple one in my size.

"You really seem to have bad luck with weddings. Your dress was ruined both times. And last time was a complete disaster."

"Well, this wedding is going to go well. I hope so, anyway. I think we've both matured a lot since then. He won't bail on me. Oh, and we aren't going to go live in a trailer this time. We have an apartment waiting for us in Madison, just like we were going to do right after graduation. Well, I'm pretty sure this one will go well. If I find a new dress!"

We were walking towards the bridal store at the other end of the mall. Being there felt familiar and comfortable. Although I wasn't quite as superficial and shopping-addicted as I used to be, I had hung out at the mall a lot and it did bring back memories, some good and some bad.

When we reached the bridal shop there was a beautiful dress that stood right there in the window. It was down to the floor, strapless, and was decorated with several little white roses. It looked perfect for Donna.

"That's the one I want!" Donna said giddily. She seemed thrilled that she had seen something she liked so early on.

"Aren't you going to look at the other ones?" I asked, just to make conversation.

"No. It's perfect."

We went in and she tried it on. She looked stunning; just right. "Donna, it's amazing. You look fantastic. "

She looked surprised as I said it. She probably just wasn't used to me giving compliments. "Thanks."

At that moment, a painful memory of the bridal shop shot before me. It was of how I used to go in there almost every weekend and try on bride dresses. Because I had wanted to get married so badly and I thought that some day Steven would want to be married to be too. It was all I ever dreamed of. But my wanting to get married had done nothing but push away my loved ones: Michael at the time, but more importantly, Steven.

I also remembered how before the first wedding attempt, Donna had sent Eric to go register for wedding gifts with me. Just to torture him. I was actually insulted by it, but I wasn't going to let Donna know that. But Eric and I had an okay time. Then Steven showed up, since he was pissed that I was doing "wedding stuff". And he saw me trying on a wedding dress and instead of yelling at me, he told me I looked beautiful. Which was very uncharacteristic of him and one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard coming from his mouth. But then I angered him with more wedding talk and he picked me up and left me in the dressing room. It was actually funny at the time, but when I looked back on it I just felt pain.

Donna interrupted me from my thoughts. "It's a miracle that I found one. Seriously," she smiled. "I'm going to go pay for it."

"Kay. I'll wait outside." I didn't want to wait in there anymore.

She came outside holding the dress in one of those cases that came with it. "I'll put this in the car. Then I'll come back and we can just hang out for a little while. Have some fun." She walked away towards the parking lot and left me standing there alone. Or so I thought.

"Jackie?!" a familiar voice called. An irritating, high-pitched, foreigner voice. I turned around and Fez popped up before me.

"Hey Fez," I said nervously. I was worried there would still be some bad blood between us.

He pulled in for a hug. "Well, I didn't think that when Rhonda and I went to the mall today we would run into you!"

I looked beside him and saw Big Rhonda. She hadn't changes at all.

"Hey Rhonda. I'm happy to see you guys." Rhonda just glared at me. I didn't know why, but I really didn't care. I'd never liked her much.

"So you're here for the wedding? Why didn't anyone tell me?" he pouted.

"I kind of wanted to keep it quiet. It didn't work. Anyway, I'm staying with Eric and family."

"That's nice."

"So, you guys got back together?" I asked politely.

"Yeah. And it's been a blast," he said.

"FEZ!" Rhonda shouted. "I said I wanted my ice cream cake!"

"Okay, Rhonda, we will have our cake. I guess I'll see you later, Jackie."

I waved bye. Well, at least that wasn't awkward or anything, right? But I was glad to see that there weren't any bad feelings between us. Maybe we could become friends again like we used to be.

Donna returned from the car a few minutes later. I told her about the encounter and she explained to me how they had gotten back together.

We didn't spend much more time at the mall. We went to some department store and bought the gloves I wanted and some makeup, perfume, and other girly we drove on home. By that time, it was almost dinner for the Formans. I wanted to stay and eat with Donna, but she and her mom were going out somewhere and I was forced to eat with everyone else, which was sure to be miserable. But that would only be the start of it.

**Well, I know it was short and this chapter was boring but I promise I have some better stuff coming up. So don't give up on me yet!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Anna  
**


	6. Chapter 5

Jackie-

I was asleep in Laurie's room when I hear a knock on the door. "Come in," I muttered, still drowsy from sleeping.

The door opened and Eric stood there hesitantly. "Hey Jackie."

I sat up. "Hey. Sit down."

He looked around the room nervously before taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "Were you asleep or something?" he asked.

"Ha. Sort of."

"It's not even six," he said concernedly.

"Well," I said defensively, "I had to wake up super early and hop on a plane to come back to Point Place, aka my own personal hell, for your wedding. Excuse me for being tired."

"You didn't have to come."

"Yeah, well. Donna said she wanted me to. I can go through a little discomfort to make her a happy. Besides, it's only for a few days. And I guess I want to be there for your wedding."

"Well it really means a lot to Donna that you're here. And me. So, thanks. We all really missed you, you know."

"I'm sure you did," I said sarcastically. I know they didn't. Before I left, it seemed like no one wanted me around. I couldn't blame them, I was in a stage where I wasn't much fun to be around.

"Really, we did. My parents. Donna, Kelso, Fez, me. Hyde missed you a ton."

I scoffed. "If Steven missed me he wouldn't be sleeping around with all those whores every weekend. Yeah, Donna told me."

Eric defended him a little. "He's been going through a rough time, just like you have. He just has a different way of coping than you."

"Yeah, well. It's disgusting."

"Well. Your methods aren't exactly lovely either. Everyone can tell, you know." I gave him my best death glare. "He still loves you."

"He never did. But, anyway. What makes you think that?"

"Yes he did. I could tell. He loved you more than you'll ever know."

"That's a big load of shit and you know it."

He ignored that. "I can just tell he does. It's the little things. Like, how he never smiles anymore. He was always happy and smiling when you guys were together."

I laughed for a second. "I thought you hated us together. Yours and Donna's exact words to describe us were 'creepy and unnatural'."

"Well, after recovering from the shock and getting used to it, you grew on me."

I sighed. "Yeah, well. If Steven loved me he wouldn't have left me for that whore Samantha."

"Look, Jackie. I heard everything that happened while I was in Africa. And I know what Hyde did to you was horrible. But you know how he is. He pushes things away before they can hurt him."

I rolled me eyes. "Whatever. I can't talk about this anymore."

"Okay. Well, let's talk about you. How are you doing? Aside from the obvious, anyway."

I could tell Eric the truth. Part of it, anyway. I trusted him more than anyone, even Donna. "Pretty poorly. I miss it here, but I can't come back. Too many memories."

"Well. I don't even know why you left."

"I just felt like there was nothing left for me here. Donna and I weren't really hanging out. I was still annoyed with her for ditching me. Don't tell her I said that. And Michael wouldn't really talk to me much either. Fez was mad at me after we broke up. And Steven wouldn't even talk to me. I had no friends. And things got really weird after what happened with my mom. I kind of went crazy. I was like, seeing her everywhere. It got really freaky. And Steven was comforting me and it reminded me of how we used to be. And I didn't want to feel that way again, since it always ended up biting me in the ass. So I left."

He seemed sympathetic. "I'm really sorry about that, by the way. Your mom. That must have sucked, not having either of your parents around."

"It wasn't that bad. I was never really close with either of them. They just gave me money and left me alone."

"Well," he switched to the previous topic, "don't you have any friends in New York?"

"None," I admitted.

"That's hard to believe. You were so popular here."

"No one wants to hang out with me. They think I'm psychotic. Or depressed or both.

"Well, you kind of are. Depressed, I mean. Not psychotic."

"Maybe," I wasn't fully able to admit it. Not yet, anyway.

I looked out the corner of my eye and saw the corner of a piece of paper coming out from under my pillow. I reached under and pulled it out. It was a pamphlet. It read: DEALING WITH ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA.

I raised my eyebrow at Eric.

"Way to be subtle, Kitty," he murmured.

"Well, that's embarrassing."

"She's just worried. We all are. You look, well, awful really."

I'd always admired Eric's blunt honesty. "Thanks a ton, Eric." Then I went on to explain. "I just lost a few pounds. It's nothing major. I'm just not really hungry anymore."

"Well, you better eat or my mom will freak out."

"Fine."

He looked right at me as he said "You know, you've changed. You're not the snarky, evil, Vader, cheerleader, Hitler midget you always were."

"You've changed too. You're not as skinny as you used to be." His face lit up as I said that. "I also noticed you haven't referenced Star Wars once in this entire conversation. I'm proud. Though, you do lose points for playing with the Millennium Falcon." He smiled again.

"Now there's the Jackie we all know and love." But the smile turned into a frown as he continued on. "When I got back from Africa, everything was different. You and Kelso were gone. Donna was acting weird. And don't even get me started on Hyde. Even Fez seemed more pissed off than usual. It really sucked."

"Well, everything's going to get better now that you're getting married! I can't believe we spent all this time talking about me when your wedding is in a few days. How do you feel?" I asked, trying to sound exciting but not really feeling that way.

"Nervous, but excited too. And I'm pretty sure I won't bail this time."

All the wedding stuff was making me even sadder. "All I ever wanted was to get married."

Eric put on the sympathetic look again. I hated how he felt bad for me. I felt so strange. "You'll get your wedding. Don't worry about it."

His words put a genuine smile on my face. "Thanks, Eric," I said as I leaned over and gave him a hug."

He stood up. "I should go help my mom with dinner."

I stood as well and said "I'll help too."

He shook his head. "It's fine. You rest. Oh, and by the way, everyone's coming over to hang in the basement tonight. They all know you're here and they're excited to see you. They all want to hear your crazy New York stories. So you might want to get thinking," he said before he walked out the door.

I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at the door. "Fabulous."

**Wow, I haven't updated in forever. Just so busy! But I'm on break now, yahootie! So lots of updates this week, hopefully. Next chapter will be up tomorrow, if not later today. Promise. I hope you liked this chapter. Yes, I know this is REALLY slow, but I thought that little Eric/Jackie convo needed to be in there. And the next chapter will be better since the whole gang will be around.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**diaryofanna**


	7. Chapter 6

**I own squat.**

Steven:

Hanging in the basement just wasn't fun anymore. We'd all grown up and gotten boring. Nothing was fun anymore. I remembered when we were all younger and carefree. I wished to go back to how things were in a simpler time. Like that first summer with me and Jackie. It started playing before me like a movie…

_We had been watching __the Price is Right__ for hours and it was miserable. There was nothing to do. Me and Jackie, just sitting there in the basement. We weren't talking at all, just watching the show._

"_Another old lady. She can't even reach the wheel!" she complained, breaking the ice._

"_I can't watch __The Price is Right__ again, I just can't," I said, desperately bored._

_In that moment some sort of electric current just ran between us. When I saw her lean in towards me I didn't think, I just leaned in too. Our lips touched, sort of hesitantly and we both sat there in a 'holy shit, did that really just happen?' way. And then it happened again, but neither of us were being hesitant this time. We began to kiss more passionately and I pulled her closer. _

_And that's when summer really began…_

"Hyde, are you even listening to me?"

Kelso's voice woke me up and I remembered where I was. Kelso, Fez, and I were hanging in the basement, watching some mindless sitcom. Donna was out somewhere. Eric and his parents were eating dinner and Jackie was asleep in her room.

"What was that?"

Kelso rolled his eyes. "I was asking you about what happened this morning with Jackie."

"Yeah. She caught this girl sneaking out of my room. It was awkward as hell."

"Fez said she seems different. Right Fez?"

"Yeah, she got really skinny and depressed looking. It's gross." Fez said disgustedly. "She was once my beautiful goddess. And look what she's doing to herself," he shook his head.

"Fez, when did you see her?" I asked, suddenly interested into what Fez had to say.

"I explained this before, Hyde. Gosh. Rhonda and I were at the mall and we ran into Jackie shopping with Donna."

"Well, I don't care what you all say. I bet she's still freaking hot," Kelso said.

"Trust me, man. She's not," I retorted.

"I don't even get why all this happened. Was she really that upset about Pam? I mean, she couldn't have been more upset than I was. I locked myself in a room for days. Never able to see Pam again," Kelso said with tears coming to his eyes. The only reason I had gotten upset about Pam was because I knew it was hurting Jackie. I didn't care so much about Pam being hot anymore. Sure, she was hot, but compared to Jackie? No one was hot compared to Jackie.

"Kelso, you are such an idiot. This isn't about Pam. It's about Hyde," Fez told him.

"Huh?" I asked confusedly. About me? I mean sure, the note she left me might have suggested that she still had some feelings for me, which didn't really make sense to me, but nothing major. Nothing that would send her into a depression.

"She never got over you, Hyde. I could tell. When we were together, she never looked at me the way she looked at you. That's why I let her go," Fez explained. "And when we were in bed-"

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Fez," I threatened. The thought of Fez and Jackie in bed together made me sick.

"So. Jackie still loves Hyde. And Hyde obviously still loves Jackie. So why don't you guys just get back together?" Kelso asked.

"Ugh, I don't love her. I don't love period. And all this Jackie talk is pissing me off. All day, the only thing anyone's talked about is Jackie. Just shut the hell up about Jackie." Hearing that Jackie still loved me would just get my hopes up.

Kelso and Fez looked taken aback.

"Dude, calm down. We'll stop talking about it," said Kelso. We all went back to watching the show for a little while. I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking about that first summer again. Oh, and what I was going to say to Jackie when I actually had to talk to her.

I heard the sound of feet clomping down the staircase and looked back. It was Eric, followed by Jackie, or what was left of Jackie anyway.

"Look who I dragged out of bed," Eric said.

Jackie walked down the stairs tiredly. It didn't even look like her. It looked like a ghost, or a zombie.

"Jackie!" Kelso exclaimed as he jumped and ran over to hug her. She hugged him back expressionlessly. When he pulled away and got a good look at her, his mouth dropped open.

"Jackie," he whispered, "you've turned into…an uggo!"

"Kelso!" Eric, Fez, and I shouted at once.

"What, it's the truth!"

"Kelso, that is no way to talk to a lady!" Fez said angrily.

Jackie's mouth had dropped open and she stood there wordlessly for a few seconds. "Well, Michael, you haven't changed at all. You're still a thoughtless pig with no respect for anyone."

I smiled. Now, there was my girl. I noticed that even if she'd lost a ton of weight, looked like she hadn't seen sunlight in years, and just looked dead, she was still beautiful.

"Well, I'm going to go upstairs now, since I have now greeted everyone. Goodnight," she said as she trudged up the stairs.

"Nice going Kelso. Very mature," Eric said. "You guys should have like, prepared him better."

"I tried, Eric, I did," Fez squealed.

I stood up without really thinking. "I'm going to go talk to her," I blurted out. Then I realized what a stupid idea that was, but I had already gotten up. And we really did need to talk some things over. Eric stood up and held his hands in front me.

"Whoa, Hyde. Really bad idea," said Eric.

"Calm down, Forman. I just want to explain what happened this morning."

He opened his mouth to protest but I ignored him and walked all the way up to Laurie's room.

She either didn't hear me open the door and walk in, or didn't acknowledge it. "Hey," I said carefully.

"Steven," she said without looking up.

"Look," I started, "I'm sorry about this morning. Really. You shouldn't have had to see that."

She laughed humorlessly. "Why should I care? I'm not your girlfriend. I don't care who you sleep with."

I shrugged. "I just thought I should say something."

She didn't answer so I started on a new topic. "So, how are things going?"

"Fine."

I sighed. I hated seeing her like this. "Jackie. You can talk to me about anything."

"There's nothing to talk about. Everything's fine."

"No, Jacks, everything is obviously not fine. And I don't get why you're being like this. I thought things were okay between us. Last time you were here they seemed to be alright."

"Well, Steven. Since my mom had just died, I was a little distraught. Just a little. Of course I needed someone there for me. That doesn't mean that things are okay between us."

I cringed. That hurt a little. "I just thought that maybe while you're here we could at least try to be friends. I don't want things to back to how they were when we weren't talking. It sucked. I really missed you," I admitted. I would have never done that normally, but these weren't normal circumstances.

"Well, you didn't act like it. You just made fun of me and said nasty things. You called me a slut."

"I'm sorry. For everything," I said, really meaning it.

"Well, we can try, I guess. To be friends, I mean. But I'm still mad at you."

Her words shocked me. "Talk about a 360."

"Yeah, well. I just remembered how nice you were to me after my mom died. Thanks for that, by the way. It really meant a lot to me."

"Anything for you, doll," I said, repeating the words that I'd spoken so many years ago.

"But just to be clear, you aren't being forgiven for anything."

"Yes, Jackie, I know," I said sighing.

"Kay." She still seemed upset; she just stared in front of her blankly. It was hard to watch.

"Why don't we go back downstairs?"

"I don't want to hang out with anyone. I came back on the condition that I would not have to see or speak to any of you. And although that already happened, I'm going to try and avoid it as much as possible."

"Jackie. Don't be like this. Everyone is dying to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to them. Everyone wants to hear about New York, right? How am I supposed to tell them I spent three years practically locked in my apartment, not speaking to anyone?"

Not speak to anyone? How the hell could she be that depressed?

"Jackie-"

"No, Steven. I just want to stay up here."

I gave up. "Do you want me to stay with you? Keep you company?"

"It's fine. Leave me alone."

I stood up, but before I left I grabbed her head and lightly kissed the top. Then I walked out the door and went back to the basement.

"Is she okay?" Kelso asked right when I entered the room.

I punched his arm with all my strength. "Nice going, moron. She doesn't even want to leave the room."

"Ow! Hyde, that hurt!"

"Kelso, you should go apologize or something," Eric suggested.

"Fine," Kelso said as he left the room.

"So, what'd you talk about?" Eric asked curiously.

"Not much, man. I said sorry about this morning and she said she didn't give a shit. I said we should try and be friends as long as she's here. She said sure, but she's still pissed at me."

"No. Big no-no. You guys can't be friends."

"Why the hell not, Forman?"

"Hyde, you've hurt her enough."

"Maybe this time will be different. Just friends. No strings attached."

"Yes," Fez said, "but that will lead to something else and then you'll just be breaking her heart again. I mean, look at her now. That was all brought on by you."

"I don't believe that for a second. It wasn't all caused by me anyway. It was probably what happened with her mom. Oh, and Fez dumping her. And how would that have been led on by me? After we broke up, she seemed fine. Then she got together with Fez and he dumped her. If anything, you should be blaming Fez." Somewhere deep down I probably knew it was my fault and not Fez's, but I wasn't able to take responsibility for something this drastic just yet.

"Come on, you know she didn't really care that much about her mom. I mean sure, death was kind of traumatic, but she barely even knew her," said Eric.

"Yeah, and you know she never really had feelings for me. I was just a rebound. That's why I let her go," Fez said sadly.

"Whatever, man." None of this mattered anyway. Right after the wedding, she would go back to New York. It would be like nothing ever happened.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jackie:

I wondered why Steven was being so uncharacteristically kind. I'd only seen that side of him several times, each time when he was alone with me. Whenever he acted like that, it made me wonder what he was really like. I'd always thought that even if he acted like a tough guy, on the inside Steven was sweet and sensitive. But then he'd always do something that contradicted it, like marrying a stripper.

I'd told him that we could try to be friends and at the time I meant it, but I was starting to think that I'd made a mistake. Us being friends? That was the recipe for a disaster. I didn't think we could be friends after everything that happened between us.

Despite sleeping all afternoon, I was exhausted. I pulled a book from my suitcase to read before I went to bed. It was my favorite, my much-abused copy of Pride and Prejudice. I went to get tucked under the covers, but then it hit me whose bed I was sleeping in. And what she had done in it and all the people she had done it with.

Disgusted, I pulled the blanket and pillow off the bed, laid them out on the floor, got in and began to read.

I'd only read the first page when I heard a knock at the door. "Come in," I said, annoyed. Couldn't I sleep at all today without any interruptions?

It was Michael.

"Hey, Jackie."

"Go away. I don't want to see you. You're disgusting."

"Look, I'm sorry about before, really. I didn't mean to make you upset. But seriously. You used to be the hottest chick in Point Place and…well, why would you do that to yourself?"

"Every single person I've seen today has said that! Just shut the hell up! I'm fucking fine!" I shouted. This was really getting on my nerves.

"You're not fine," he said quietly.

"Look, I know what's wrong. So if you guys could stop pointing it out, I'd really appreciate it."

"Okay. But. Well, remember that time when we were going out and you got sick? And I came to visit you and you didn't have any makeup on and I couldn't even look at you without screaming? Well, it's like that, but ten times worse."

"Michael!"

"Fine, fine. I'm sorry. I'll be quiet."

"Leave me alone. I want to sleep."

"Gosh, stop acting all pissy."

I pulled the book in front of my face and began to read again.

He looked horrified. "Is that a book?"

"Yeah. I like to read."

"You don't read anything that's not Nancy Drew."

"It's Jane Austen. I got into her stuff while I was in New York. I'd recommend it to you, but you don't have the brain capacity to comprehend what's going on."

"Even if I did have the brains, it's a chick book. You can tell 'cause the cover's pink."

"It's a classic, Michael."

"Gosh, when did you get smart?"

"Not hanging around you guys did me some good, didn't it?"

He laughed. "We really missed you Jackie."

"I missed you guys too. I guess."

"Well, I'll leave you to your books," he said. "But, why are you on the floor?"

"I don't want whatever diseases are in Laurie's bed."

He chuckled appreciatively. "Yeah. Good times, good times. See you around, Jackie."

"Wait!" I shouted after him. He poked his head back in the room. "How's Betsy? And Brooke?"

"Betsy's great. She's four years old now and in preschool. She can talk and everything. And Brooke's doing well too. We might move in together, actually. Betsy wants to live with her daddy."

"That's great."

"Thanks for asking."

"Of course. She's my goddaughter, even if I haven't seen her in three years. I can't wait to see her."

"I'm sure she wants to see you too. 'Night, Jackie."

I smiled. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Another chapter, yay. Next chapter tomorrow. Don't forget to review!**

**Thanks,**

**Anna**


	8. Author's Note 2

**Hello to my readers. :[**

**I know I've been a total slacker with updating. My irrational and quite possibly insane father took away my computer.**

**And I've been busy.**

**But I'm working on the next chapter and it will definitely be up BY SUNDAY. Just thought I'd tell everyone that. I might have it up sooner, maybe even tonight? I dunno. But if I don't submit anything new by Sunday night, I want everyone to leave me a really nasty review.**

**I apologize to my couple of readers; I know it's annoying when you start a story and you either never get to finish it, or it comes out so late that you don't even remember what the story was about in the first place.**

**I would like to make it up to you by giving you an AWESOME RECOMMENDATION.**

**Ahem.**

**It is here on this website and it is called NOVEMBER RAIN by LUVCALI76.**

**Go read this NOW. It is my all time favorite fanfic. It is beautifully written, emotional, and is very dramatic. It is not only super amazing, but it is also super long, so it will keep you occupied for a while. And, of course, it's about Jackie and Hyde.**

**GO READ IT!**

**Now I'm going to go work on the next chapter, but in the mean time, to those who haven't already read it, GO READ NOVEMBER RAIN. :3**

**Adios!**

**Anna :)**


	9. Chapter 7

Jackie:

_"Don't you remember? We got married!" the blonde girl said excitedly to Steven._

_My Steven? My Steven, my Puddin' Pop married to that tramp? I didn't believe it was true, or at least I desperately wished it wasn't true. But as I quickly looked back and forth between them, their expressions gave no indication that it wasn't true._

_She stood there for a moment looking so incredibly pleased with herself. I could have popped that slut in the face the way she stood there so arrogantly; unaware that she was ruining my life right before me._

"_What?!" Steven asked with a bewildered look on his face._

"_Oh my god," I said at almost the exact same time. I couldn't watch anymore of it. The tears were dangerously close to escaping from where they remained behind my eyelids. And nobody was able to see me like that. It was prohibited._

_I ran out the living room door without looking back at them, through the kitchen, out the next door, and into the Formans' driveway. It was freezing outside and I'd left my coat back in the house. There was no way I was going back in there no matter how cold it was. I began to run again, but I realized what I had on my feet: very high-heeled, strappy shoes. They were one my favorite pairs but they were certainly not suitable for running twenty minutes to my house. Off with the shoes. I ripped them off my feet and threw them to the side._

_Of course, walking barefoot on a cold, rocky surface is not the most comfortable feeling, but I ignored that._

_Just once I turned around to see if anyone was behind me. I thought that Steven would immediately run after me. And if not, someone else would be there. Any of my friends would follow me._

_But no one was there. I was completely and one hundred percent alone._

_And with that, I took off. I ran as fast as I could. Away from Steven. Away from everything._

Steven:

"Oh god, I'm late for work," Kitty rambled. "Eric, you relax. Make sure Donna doesn't lose her mind. Red, do that thing I told you about yesterday. MAKE SURE YOU GET IT DONE. Steven, you can do whatever you want. Just make sure you get Jackie out of bed. Wow, she sure can sleep. Oh, and make sure she gets breakfast. BE SURE TO SIT THERE AND WATCH HER EAT. She will by no means by starving herself in my house! Okay I've gotta go. See you boys later!" She then proceeded to exit the kitchen.

Red smiled. "Ah, some peace and quiet at last." Then he frowned. "You know, I ought to kick both of your asses. You two are the reason Kitty kept me up all night talking. All she ever does is talk talk talk. You'd think she'd be doing something useful around here. But no, all she can do is talk."

"What did I do this time?" Eric sputtered.

"Yeah. Me too," I asked.

Red pointed at Eric. "Your mother kept me up half the night talking about _your_ wedding." He pointed at me. "She spent the other half talking about your psychotic girlfriend."

Eric smirked. "Well, sorry for wanting to finally settle down with the girl I've been in love with since I was in kindergarten. I know that's a real criminal offense in your book. Besides, I thought you wanted me out of the house. See, now I'm actually getting out of the house. It's your dream come true."

Red rolled his eyes. "Eric, quit being a smartass. And yes, it would be a dream come true to have my house, at last, rid of kids. Steven, when are you moving out?"

"Eh. Soon."

Red furrowed his eyebrows. "Steven. You're old enough to be on your own."

"Soon, soon, I get it! Jesus Christ. And getting back on topic, Jackie may be psychotic, but she is _not _my girlfriend," I retorted.

"What can I say?" he asked with a shrug. "Besides, Kitty left you in charge of her. That has to count for something, eh?"

"Whatever," I shot back with my much practiced Zen voice.

"Well, I can't say that this hasn't been a delight, but I'm going to go now. Sayonara, dumbasses." Then he walked out the door as well.

Eric stood up a little while later. "I'm heading over to Donna's. Seeya."

"Later, Forman."

I went into the living room and watched some sports game for a while before deciding to wake Jackie up.

I walked up to Laurie's room. "Jackie, get up already. It's eleven," I said as I turned the door knob.  
I heard a sharp, shrill screech. When I saw Jackie, I realized why.

Jackie stood by the bed, wearing only a bra and some skimpy underwear. Black, and lacy. My mind began to drift off in a fantasy land.

"Steven," she shouted, "out!"

My eyes were fixated on her; they refused to cooperate and move. "Steven, get out or I'll kick you," Jackie threatened. That woke me up. Jackie's kicks hurt. A lot. I still had some of the scars back from when we were dating.

I close my eyes for a moment but I peeked through a little. It was difficult not to. She might have been freakishly thin and a teensy bit unhealthy looking, but hell, she was still beautiful. At least in my eyes she was.

"Go away. I see you peeking," she accused. I shut them for real after that.  
"How do you know?" I asked with a laugh.

"I know you. Move."

"Can you just relax? It's not like I've never seen you without clothes before."

"That was before. We were dating then."

"Well, I have to tell you something. Mrs. Forman asked me to."

"Ask me later. Out!" She was still so stubborn.

"Ugh, I'll just turn around, okay?" She didn't seem to object to it, so I turned around and waited for a few seconds while she changed.

"Kay. You can turn around now."

She had on a plain, grey t-shirt that revealed some of her stomach and some baggy sweatpants. It was really hot.

"Now, what did you want?"

"Mrs. Forman told me I had to get you up and have you eat breakfast."

She smirked. "I'm not five years old."

"Don't care. She'll bite my head off if I ignore her."

"Well. I'm not freaking hungry."

I chuckled at that. "Yes you are. You're holding your stomach. You always do that when you're hungry."

Jackie giggled. "You remember that?"

"Yeah."

It seemed to cheer her up. "Fine. Let's eat."

Together, we exited the room. She still looked so sad, and really tired. She walked slowly and she leaned against the wall as she did it. Then she stopped.

"Jackie?"

Her eyes rolled back and she collapsed to the floor.

For a moment I was in shock. I just stood there looking at her. Then I got on my knees and shook her. "Fuck, wake up Jackie," I pleaded. She didn't move. I wasn't exactly a medial expert and I wasn't sure what to do. Call Mrs. Forman? Call an ambulance? Run and get Eric and Donna? Wait until she woke up?

I would wait for just a few minutes and then I would do something else. In the meantime, I lifted her up and brought her to the living room couch.

_She's fine, she's fine, she'll get up in a few seconds_, I repeated to myself. I shook her shoulder more.

I briefly pressed my lips to her forehead. "Jackie, please."

Jackie:

_Hours had passed and no one had come. I laid alone on the floor of my room. I couldn't believe it. I was literally alone. None of my friends had come. Neither of my parents were there to comfort me. But those weren't nearly as bad as Steven not coming._

_I'd thought that he loved me. That he cared._

_How could he let me go all the way to Chicago because he couldn't give me a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe someday we might get married, then marry some random trash after knowing her for about two seconds. What a shithole._

_Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I did it to myself. Maybe it was karma._

_I hated Donna. I hated Michael. I hated Fez. I hated my parents. I hated Eric, even if he was all the way in freaking Africa. I hated Steven. I hate that fucking stripper. But at that moment, I hated myself most of all._

_I hated everything. It was all disgusting to me._

_I was insane. I was seeing things in black and white. _

_I knew that sitting there wouldn't help me, so I got up and pretty much trashed my entire room._

_First was the bookshelf. I knocked it to the ground and watched all the books, movies, stuffed animals, random papers, and various other things fall to the ground. Then I went to the records. Most of it was ABBA and other disco records, which I threw the ground. The Led Zeppelin ones that Steven gave me were broken in half. All of my clothes were thrown around the room. The photographs on the wall were torn in half. Most of them were of me, but there were pictures of the whole gang there. I paid special attention to the big photo of Steven and me, taken at the concert I bought Steven tickets for when it was his birthday. The unicorns all received the same fate as poor Fluffycakes (heads ripped off). _

_When the room was sufficiently trashed, I fell to the ground in a crying heap of patheticness._

_Fuck the world._

I opened my eyes and looked around the room confusedly. I was in the Formans' living room. Lying on a couch.

How did I get there? Last thing I remembered was going to the kitchen were Steven. How disorienting.

"Jackie! You're awake," I heard from above me. I lifted my head up and saw Steven looking over my concernedly. The room was spinning, so I put it back down.

"Ugh. What happened?"

"You fainted. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just do me a favor and don't tell anyone."

He looked pissed. "Jackie, this isn't normal."

"Shut up. I'm perfectly fine."

"You always say that when you're not. You just don't want people feeling bad for you."

"Whatever," I said dejectedly.

"Do you want some water or something?"

"I'll just get it myself." I started to stand up but the room starting spinning again.

He rolled his eyes. "Just stay here. I'll get it."He left to go get it.

I wasn't too concerned. This had happened before. No biggie. He didn't need to make a fuss. But if he told anyone…they would probably try and hospitalize me or something. They all made a big deal over nothing. That's just how Point Place worked.

Steven returned several minutes later with not only water, but with strawberry ice cream as well. My favorite. He remembered.

"Thanks, but I don't want ice cream. I thought I was supposed to be having breakfast. I don't want anything, actually."

"You shut up and eat."

He sat next to me. It was silent as I ate the ice cream. It felt nice to have some food in there for a change. I didn't eat too much back in New York, obviously.

Steven had his 'sad look' on. The puppy dog expression that he wore when he was upset about something. Or when he did something wrong and had to apologize. You could only see it when he wasn't wearing the glasses. I always thought that was why he used to wear them so much; so people couldn't see what he was really feeling. "You're not wearing your glasses."

He laughed. "They're in the basement. I don't wear them as much anymore."

I shot him a death glare. "And you had to wait until after I left. I was always begging you to take them off."

I took another bite of ice cream. "So, what have you been up to? How's the store?"

"Eh. Business is kind of slow. I hired some new people, though."

I made a face. "Is Randy still there?

"Nah, he moved a while ago. What was wrong with him?"

"I dunno. It felt like he was trying to take Eric's place. Also, I just didn't like outsiders joining our group. Remember how hard I worked to try to get in? He didn't have to do anything. Just like Sam."

He cringed at the name. "Can we not?"

I was suddenly angry. He had reminded me of the whore.

"What's wrong, Steven? Do you miss her so much that you can't even hear her name?"

"No," he spat back at me.

"Do you ever miss her?" I asked quietly.

"Nope. Never."

"But you were upset when she left," I accused him.

"No. I didn't even like her. I was just…embarrassed. I'd gotten drunk, married a stripper, lost you over it, then gotten dumped by her for some fat old guy. That's pretty much as low as you can sink."

"Did you ever miss me?" I asked in the same quiet voice.

He sighed. "Yeah. A lot."

We didn't talk after that until I finished my ice cream.

"See. Don't you feel better now?" he asked me.

I was now able to stand without having the room spinning around me. "I suppose."

He laughed again. "Still so stubborn." I proceeded to stick my tongue out at him.

"Alright. Well, I'm going to go hang with Donna. See you later, Steven." I started to walk out, but I had one more question for him. "Steven?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, you hate me."

"I dunno. It's just what people do for the people they care about." He repeated my words from back at my old ski lodge.

It gave me a truly genuine smile for the first time in a while.

"Thanks, Steven."

Steven:

_It was about ten minutes after Jackie had run out. I felt like such a dick. I was so angry at everyone, most of all Sam. How could she do that? How could she just barge in here and ruin my life and my relationships with everyone? _

_Fucking slut. I used to love strippers, but I see the truth. Strippers are nothing more than filthy home wreckers._

_I wanted nothing more than to tell Sam to leave and to go comfort Jackie. But I didn't know what to say to either of them. I didn't feel like I deserved to go running back to Jackie. I was such a bastard. Also, before I did anything, I had to figure out what the hell had happened with Sam._

_I invited her to come on a walk with me. Just to talk and figure all this out._

_As we walked outside I saw something by the side of the road. When I got closer, I realized that they were Jackie's shoes. Her favorite pair. She was wearing them today._

_She must have taken them off so she could run away quicker. She could barely even walk in those, let alone run._

_When I saw them, I realized just how upset I had made her. Jackie was the most superficial person on the planet. Nothing would make her part with her shoes. Except this, I guess._

_I knew what I had to do. I had to make Sam leave. Then, I would have to go to the mall and buy her shoes, clothes, candy, jewelry, and stuffed unicorns. Then I would have to go to her house and grovel and beg for forgiveness. I would tell her how much I loved her._

_And later, when we would be past all of this, I might even do what I was planning to do when I went to Chicago. I was prepared and everything. I even kept the ring I was going to give her._

_I was going to get Jackie back, no matter what it would take._

**Grr. I'm not particularly fond of this chapter, but I have no bright ideas as to what I could do to improve it. So I'm just going to post it.**

**Please review. :]**

**And don't forget to check out the fanfic I recommended, **_**November Rain**_** by luvcali76.**

**I'm not going to make any promises for the next chapter, since anything could happen, but I'm pretty sure it will be up in the next couple of days.**

**Thanks,**

**Anna**


	10. Author's Note 3

Well hey there guys. : )

Yes, I noticed that it's been two months since I've updated. Sorry 'bout that. I actually have a legit reason this time.

If anyone noticed, the author's note at the end of the last chapter said something along the lines of "I'll probably update soon, but I'm not going to make any promises because anything could happen." Well, yeah. Bunches of stuff happened, the most important being that two days later, I had a really tragic and unexpected family member death that shook me up for a while. So RIP up there. : (

Also, I'm graduating from middle school really soon. Which sounds really extremely lame, but they're giving us all these end of the year state tests and finals and crap which I've been studying really hard for. Since I was accepted to an exclusive private high school and if my grades slip they could kick me out. Eek.

Anyway, I'm aware that this note was sort of pointless. I just wanted to say that I haven't forgotten you guys out there in fanfic world. But I'll have a chapter by next Sunday. A week. So leave me a really nasty review if I don't, ya hear? So, this was more of a post to make myself update, because I'll probably forget if I don't do something like this.

And for the bazillionth time, I would like to recommend the fanfic "November Rain" by luvcali76. God, I love that story with a passion. If they were to make a movie of this show, I would want THAT to be the movie. Yeah. That would define epic.

ANOTHER RECOMMENDATION. Yahootie! Anyway, it's a book called "Looking For Alaska" by John Green. It's very sad but very amazing as well. I think you peoples would like it. So go out and buy it.

Well, I'm just rambling now because I'm trying to put off practicing violin. Ladedadeda. I'm the world's worst procrastinator.

Okay. I'll stop boring you guys now. Anyone who read this whole thing, you must be really bored. You deserve a medal or something.

LOVE,

Anna :3

OH. And I'd like to say happy 14th birthday to me. Yay. I had to be pathetic and say that to myself because most of my asshole friends forgot about it. [


	11. Chapter 8

Steven:

_I was finally here. After driving two hours, I was in Chicago. About to knock on the door to Jackie's apartment._

_I wasn't nervous. Jackie would be so happy to see me that everything would be forgotten. Especially when she realized why I was there. I could picture it already. She would start jumping up and down and start squealing in that annoying way. She would be so happy that she was at last getting what she had always dreamed of. She would jump into my arms and have me bring her back to Point Place. And she would never have to leave again._

_I was still a bit annoyed with her. She had won. She wanted to get married. I didn't. At least not at the moment, anyway. But of course she got her way, because that's what Jackie did to people._

_I knocked on the door. Several moments later she answered. "Come in," she said._

_"Hey," I said in my typical Zen manner._

_Her eyes widened as if she was in shock. "Steven," she said as she jumped out of her bed, "what are you doing here?"_

_That wasn't the reaction that I'd been expecting. I was expecting the jumpy-squealy thing._

_It was all good, though. She'd perk up when started talking._

_"Nothing really; I just thought I'd come check out Chicago. How are you doing?" It was a pretty lame excuse, I know. But I hadn't really planned it out and that was all that came to mind._

_She seemed nervous. Scared even. Something was up with her. This wasn't how Jackie usually acted._

_"Good. Um, do you want to go grab something to eat?" No, I did not want to get something to eat. I wanted to rip off that nightie and make love to her for hours upon hours. But that would have to wait._

_I never got to answer. I was about to unwillingly say 'okay', but then Kelso walked in. Kelso, the last person I'd expect, but the first that I should have expected._

_So he came in. In a towel, no less. _

_It was very clear what had happened._

_He made it even clearer when he said "Jackie, I checked, no one can see us doing it from the parking lo-AHH!" The 'ahh' was when he saw me standing there. Apparently he hadn't expected me to be there either._

_I could've killed him then and there._

_He was my best friend. He knew I loved her. Yet, he drove up to Chicago the second after we broke up to fuck her. I should have seen it coming. That's what Kelso did. He was a life-ruiner._

_"You're dead," I said menacingly._

_He backed out of the room and ran outside. I grabbed hold of something, but it turned out to be just his towel. He was fully naked now, but it wasn't stopping him from running as far as he could._

_That was enough for now. I could pound him later. I needed to deal with Jackie._

_She looked pissed. She stood there not saying a word. I did the same. I stared back at her and saw someone who I not only loved more than anything, but hated more than anything._

_I was the first to break the ice. "I see you moved on quickly." Then I began to walk out the door. I couldn't look at her any longer. She was dirty; tainted; contaminated by Kelso._

_She ran after me, now with tears running slowly down her face. "Steven, stop! It's not what you think, I swear!"_

_I didn't reply. I didn't know what to say. _

_She reached her hand out and ran her fingers across my face. "Steven, I wouldn't. I love you and only you. You know that."_

_I smirked. "Sure, I do."_

_"You have to believe me."_

_Now we were at my car. "I'm can't take this shit anymore, Jackie. I'm done."_

_"Steven!" she pleaded._

_I slammed the car door in her face. While I did I repeated my words. "I'm done."_

_As I started to drive away, I watched her in the mirror. She was sobbing uncontrollably. My natural instinct was to go to her and make it all better. But too much had happened. We were, as I said to her multiple times, done. For good._

Jackie:

Stupid, stupid Steven. Why did he insist on doing this to me? It was agony, pure torture.

Stupid Steven had to go along and act nice to me and make me fall for him even more. Stupid. Why was he being so sweet to me? This always led to nothing but more heartbreak.

The problem with Steven was that sometimes he could be the smarmiest, most asshole-iest bastard in the world. And sometimes he could be the absolute sweetest, most wonderful boy in the universe. You never knew what to expect with him.

As I pranced along to Donna's house, I stared up at the sky giddily. I was a fool. A fool in love.

Stupid, stupid Steven! I had rather enjoyed being an emotionless blob of nothingness. Now I was ruining it by being me. Or, Steven was ruining.

As I walked into the Pinciotti household, waved hello to Bob who was sitting on the couch eating ice cream, and entered Donna's room, the only thing I was hearing in my head was 'stupid, stupid Steven'.

But my thoughts were interrupted when I took a look at Donna's bed. Where she was under the covers. Naked. With Eric on top of her, both of them moaning and groaning all over each other.

"Oh my god!" Donna screamed as she pulled the blanket to cover herself and Eric.

I closed my eyes and turned around. "I didn't see anything!" I said while stifling a laugh. It was gross, but it was pretty funny too.

"Jackie? Do you mind, I dunno, GETTING LOST?" Eric exclaimed.

"I'd be happy to," I said as a left and shut the door behind me.

I giggled again. Oh, Eric and Donna were so dumb. They were always getting caught doing it. That had to have been the tenth time at least. I, on the other hand, was careful when I did it. I took precautions. I always made sure the door was locked. I'd only ever been caught once. And that time hadn't even been my fault.

Not that it mattered anymore. I hadn't gotten any action since Fez. Over three years ago. And it was _Fez._ It was disgusting that I had ever even liked him, or thought I did. Fez was a boy-friend, not a boyfriend.

I missed sex. Nothing could compare to the feeling of being joined together was someone in that way. It was incredible. Depending on who you were doing it with, anyway. Michael had been pretty good. Fez, not so much. Steven…I'm not even going to go into that.

More than sex, I missed not being loved. I always had someone. My parents, Michael, Steven, Fez. Being alone blew.

Now I was back downstairs. "Hey Bob? Don't go in there without knocking. Ever."

He understood immediately. Bob's face went from happy and jolly to looking like he was going to kill. "I could kill Eric. He's dirtied her up to the point of no return. In the daytime? With the doors unlocked? Despicable. I can't believe I'm letting my baby marry that."

I laughed. "See you, Mr. Pinciotti."

_He was gone. For good. He said we were done forever. I could kill Michael with my bare hands. In fact, that's what I was going to do._

_"MICHAEL YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER MORON!" I screamed as loud as I could._

_I ran in the direction he had run before me. Soon I could see him. He wasn't very difficult to see. His naked, white body gleamed in the moonlight like a lightning bug._

_When I was close enough I shouted in his ear again. "Michael! Stop!"_

_He turned to face me. I tried to ignore the fact that he was naked. _

_"Jackie, I'm so sorry. Look-" He never finished his sentence. I punched in the face with all my might._

_"I hate you! You're ruining my life!"_

_"Jackie, I'm really sorry. Okay! Now stop hitting me!"_

_I kicked him instead. "Now Steven's gone and it's all your fault! Gosh, Michael. He came all the way up here to get back together with me and you've ruined it. Like you always do."_

_I was still pissed at him, but he did look upset. There were already tears in his eyes. I wasn't sure if they were because he was genuinely upset to have hurt me, or because I kept hitting and kicking him._

_"Jackie, I'm really really sorry. I never mean to come between you and Hyde. Ever."_

_I snickered. "Sorry? You got exactly what you wanted, Michael." I pushed him away and away he went. I returned to my hotel room and burst out into tears. I loved him and now he was gone. He would never believe me when I told him that nothing had happened. I took the pillow and threw it across the room. All the feathers flew out from the pillow and landed on the floor. _

_After about half an hour of sobbing, I stood and looked in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was straggly and knotted. I had eye makeup smeared all over my face. I needed help._

_I picked up the phone and dialed Donna. "Hello?" she answered sounding almost as miserable as I did._

_"It's Jackie," I started._

_"Look, Jackie, if you're calling to tell me you hate me outfit again I'm just going to hang up. I am so not in the mood."_

_"I'm sorry about Eric. I know it sucks. But something even worse happened to me."_

_She could tell that I was crying. "What's wrong?"_

_"It's about Steven…"_

_"Oh, yeah. He told me he was driving up to see you. What happened?"_

_"Yeah. He came in and I invited him to go get something to eat and it seemed like he wanted to get back together and then Michael walked in. Wearing a towel."_

_"Jackie! What the hell was Kelso doing in your room in a towel?"_

_"He just came to visit me! Nothing was going on! And of course he thought there was, so he said before he saw Steven that he checked and no one would be able to see us doing it from the parking lot."_

_"Gee, I wonder how he reacted to that."_

_"He left. He said he was done."_

_She sighed. "Jackie, I'm so sorry."_

_"What should I do?"_

_"You need to go talk to him. Drive down here."_

_"But I don't have a car! Michael drove me here and he's gone already!"_

_"Then take the train! Or the bus!"_

_"But all those poor people Donna! I'll be sitting where they sat!"_

_"Jackie. You need to talk to him. Ignore the poor people butts."_

_"Fine. I guess I'll see you soon. Bye Donna." I clicked the phone off. Now I had to pack, go back to Wisconsin, and explain to Steven what had happened. Maybe it would all work out. Just maybe._

Steven:

Several minutes after Jackie left, she came back. "That was quick."

She looked happy. She was laughing. I had missed that.

"Yeah. I walked in on Eric and Donna doing it."

I burst out laughing. "Are you serious? I can't believe I missed it!"

"At least they were in a bed this time. Remember, the kitchen table?"

I did remember. "Yeah. I still can't look at that table the same way."

We sat in silence for a bit. "Is the Hub still in business?"

Of course. The Hub would never leave. It was the only place in Point Place to get food. "Yeah. Still there. It still has the same games and workers. And the graffiti on the bathrooms. It's all there.

She smiled. "Let's go there. I wanna see it."

I was overjoyed that we were getting along. Maybe she really had forgiven me for the Sam incident.

Or maybe she was still pissed, she was just waiting for the right moment to let it all out. Maybe she was a bomb, waiting to go off.

Regardless, I still wanted the hang with her. Maybe it would help.

"Sure. Let's go."

We went back out to my car. "I see you still have the El Camino," she said. She looked like she was in deep thought. She was probably remembering everything that had happened in that car. The two of us had sex in that car more than any other couple had in any car ever. I was sure of it.

We chatted the whole way there.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" she asked.

"Well. I don't think there's anything going on during the day. Just hanging. And tonight, we should be all going to strip clubs, since the wedding is in two days. But we're not, because Eric and Donna are pansies. I think they just want all six of us to hang out together. Since no one really does anymore. You're off in New York, Kelso's in Chicago with Betsy and Brooke most of the time. Eric and Donna both have jobs. Plus, they've been busy moving stuff into their new house in Madison. Fez spends a lot of his time with Big Rhonda."

"Hm. That's nice that we're all going to hang out."

"Last night Forman had to force you downstairs to hang out with us, and you left after about two seconds."

"Well, that was before."

There was a bit of an awkward pause. "So what did you get Eric and Donna for a wedding gift?"

Her eyes widened. "Fuck. I didn't."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Nothing?" She used to buy gifts months in advance.

"No, I forgot! What did you get them?"

"The biggest baggy in the world, of course. There's enough pot in there to last them a year. I spent a lot of money on it too."

"But I have nothing to give them! I need to go get something!"

"Relax. I'll take you to the mall after the Hub." I hated the mall, but I had a lot of sucking up to do.

"Aw, Steven. Thank you. I know you hate the mall."

We exchanged a few more comments on the weather and about how Point Place hadn't changed at all, and then we arrived at the Hub.

When she stepped it, she took a few looks around. "It's exactly the same. Just like I remembered it."

"Of course. You think they have the money to change it around? We're like, the only customers."

"Huh," she replied dazedly. She stared at it in amazement; like she was seeing the most incredible thing in the world. "We really had some good times here, huh?"

"Sure did. Second best hang-out in Point Place." She laughed at that. She knew I was referring, of course, to the basement.

"I can't believe you still live in the basement. I'm surprised they haven't kicked you out. I mean, you're definitely old enough for your own place."

"Haha. Red tried on several occasions but Kitty wouldn't let him. She said I'd die on my own. But I'm looking at places now."

She seemed to be contemplating this. "I can't imagine you in an apartment. You've been in the Formans' basement for too long."

"That's probably true," I said with a laugh. "I'm gonna get food, you want anything?"

"Get me a coke? I'm going to the bathroom."

Jackie:

The bathroom was still the same, just like everything else. I read all the graffiti on the wall; most of it was written by me. There was a heart that read "Jackie and Michael 4EVER". It had an X going through it, which I'd written after he cheated on me with Laurie. There was more "Jackie-Michael" stuff than anything. I had a little "JB + SH" that represented my relationship with Steven. There was nothing for Fez. I'd outgrown writing on the walls of public facilities at that point. I also wrote stuff about the girls I knew like "DONNA IS A BIGFOOT GOON", "PAM MACY'S ASS IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF WISCONSIN", and "LAURIE IS A SKANK". Turns out Laurie had left her own mark as well: "For a good time call…" with her old phone number. I knew it was hers because Fez and I had once called to see who it was, as a joke, and the person asked if we were looking for Laurie, because she had moved out. It had been quite humorous.

It had been several minutes and Steven would probably be wondering where I was, so I went back in. I didn't mention the graffiti. Didn't want him to know how much I'd written about everybody.

He handed me my coke. "Here ya go."

"Thanks. Let's go to the mall now?"

"Sure," he responded. And off to the mall we went.

…**hey guys. So yeah. I'm a big fat liar. I was supposed to update a couple of weeks ago but I was all wrapped up in finals and crap and I had my monstrous ballet recital so I didn't. Eh. I apologize.**

**And because it's been such a long time, you guys deserve a really exciting chapter, right?! But no. I'm being too much of a lazyass. I was going to have them go to the mall in this chapter and there was going to be some drama but I have my science final in a day, I've barely studied and I reallyyyyy need to boost my grade because I didn't do so well on the last test. Wow, that was a big-ass run on sentence. I apologize, folks. I was going to write the whole thing and upload it next weekend but I really wanted to write today and I figured I might as well before I go off to study. **

**SO. Next weekend you will have an actually interesting chapter as opposed to this lame-ass blob of dullness. And that's a PINKY promise. **

**Thanks for reading, you guys. :)**

**Anna.**


End file.
